Ii otenki desu, ne?

Yeah, great weather. Too bad I feel too tired today. Maybe it's lack of doing as much as I usually do. Who knows. I'm tired.

Went to the Library to get two movies, came back with a book. Figure it out yourself.

I think I'm getting into a snippy mood because I'm tired. Maybe it was the tarot readings last night. I don't know. Of course, when do I ever know anything? I can't make decisions, remember?

Little ol' Topaz is a basket case. She's afraid to love people because she's convinced she'll end up hurt in the end. She's too sensitive, but she hides it like an insecure teenager and pretends that nothing hurts her. She can't stop the battle that never stops it's war in her head because of her insecurities.

Blah, blah, blah.

I think I need a break from everything and everyone. Between Haruko-san's never ending talk about how she's DESTINED to go to Japan & the nagging about studying, S-chan's self defeating attitude towards life, Linkie-chan's obsessive study habits that make me look like a fuck, and all the other things that have been piled on my face, I'm just too tired.

Too bad I can't roll over and die. Wouldn't that be a pretty site? Can you see the headlines? (not that there'd be headlines for my death, as I am an insignificant bug in society at the moment)

"College Student Ends Own Life By Impaling Herself on her Easel"

Let's just get this over with. I'm ready to fail the exam. Bring it on. Show me how incompetent I am, and how much better OTHERS are, even if I AM the one person who's studied Japanese the longest. .>_O Do you know how offensive it is to me?

Pretty damn offensive. And pretty damn defeating. Like, even though I've been working at Japanese for 3 years (with a year break in between) and others who've only studied for not even a year yet are miles ahead of me?

Kinda pisses me off.

Of course, I think I'm in an angry mood at the moment. All of this may just be blown out of proportion at the moment.

Of course, that doesn't make it any less true.

Yeah, I think I've said my share.

Isn't this a lovely entry to have made just before Spring Break?

~Topaz~